Ordination here we come!
This past Friday night (April 4, 2008) Matt had his pre-ordination interview and was approved for ordination in the Church of the Brethren pending completion of his degree at Bethany and a call (or job offer) from a church (You’ll be able to read more about his side of the story in his soon to be launched blog). In the Church of the Brethren, (I can’t speak for other denominations) the candidate’s spouse is also expected to attend this interview, along with any interviews at prospective churches. Therefore, as a good wife, I went with him to his interview.
Matt and I are both well aware of the fact that I don’t fit into what is often seen as the traditional role of a “pastor’s wife” – plays the organ, teaches Sunday school, cooks copiously for potlucks, and is employed as either a teacher, librarian, or stay-at-home mom. As has often been the case throughout Matt’s journey into ministry I was apprehensive of what the committee might think of me. At Matt’s licensing interview, I was told my uniqueness was an asset, but there is never any way to know how different groups will perceive me.
The interview went well and the committee asked Matt a barrage of deep theological questions, which to his credit he answered thoughtfully and with confidence. The only question directed to me was about my opinion on the reality of living in a fishbowl of sorts when Matt becomes a pastor. Of all the questions I expected them to ask me, (How did I see my role as pastors wife? What did I plan to do to support Matt in his ministry? What were my thoughts on him being ordained?) this had not crossed my mind. Mostly because I think Matt and I live fairly transparent lives as it is, and the idea of changing who we are or how we act because someone else is watching wasn’t something I had thought of.
I received a good hearted just-you-wait-chuckle from most of the committee when I mentioned that I didn’t think we would change how we act when he became a pastor I said we knew neither of us fit into the traditional pastor/pastor’s wife mold but we were willing to make our unique relationship work for us. Since Matt and I don’t take on the traditional husband and wife roles in our marriage now, we don’t plan to change that.
While I may not support Matt’s ministry in the typical ways, I will support him just as much in my own ways. By working full-time at a job I love to put him through grad school. By sharing his interests in computers, cars, the great outdoors, and other activities he will use to rejuvenate himself while serving as a pastor . By telling him he is one of the best cooks I know and encouraging him to make the copious food for potlucks I most certainly will not cook myself. By engaging in deep debates with him, theological or otherwise. By listening to his sermons and offering advice and constructive criticism. By getting involved in the church in ways that I am able, such as helping with visual presentations, web design, fund raising, worship leading, and being a generally friendly person.
I may never teach a Sunday school class, work in the nursery, bake cookies, or smile and nod politely to everything Matt says, but I will be authentically and unabashedly myself. And, honestly, if people want to look in our fishbowl, that is what I hope they see.
